All The Pregnant Ladies – Put Your Hands Up!

(A la Beyonce) All the pregnant ladies! All the pregnant ladies..

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You my friend are a fucking WARRIOR! Take a minute to let that sink in… Bask in it… Your body is preparing a remarkable thing and not in the alien popping out of your belly kind of thing. It is strong and resilient.

Your experience will be unique. Each child is one of a kind. That being said, if you ever feel alone, scared or anxious for the future ahead, remember you are one of us now and you my friend, are far from alone.

The first trimester is the hardest. The last trimester is the longest and the middle is blissful in between.

I’ll be honest, you will be treated differently. Sometimes it will be glaringly obvious, other times it will be subtle. Don’t try to pretend like nothing has changed and that you can do everything you used to. Its perfectly kosher to ask and accept help. Its okay to push yourself but listen to your body, know when to take it easy.

You will get asked the same questions, over and over AND over. It will be endearing at first but near the end you’ll probably be seeing red.

How far along are you?

Are you having a boy or girl?

Do you have any names in mind?

Are you having any strange cravings? I used to crave.. my friend craves/used to crave…

Bonus question Do you miss alcohol and coffee? (if you drank before that is).

Near the end expect the same questions with the added:

Have you been feeling any contradictions? Braxton Hicks?

Has baby arrived yet?  

Don’t feel guilty if people start to annoy you, consider it a rite of passage.

You may be terrified at the thought of pooping while giving birth. Trust me when you are in the moment you won’t give a shit. (see what I did there?) Remember you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and you will get through labour and delivery.  No delivery is “better” than another birth is birth. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise have them get acquainted with one of your fingers.

Make sure to stay hydrated and rest up as much as can. Which leads me to my next point…

You will get a lot of advice. Some of it good most of it unsolicited and the advice keeps coming once baby is born. It can be overwhelming, but take it with a grain of salt. I know how easy it is to doubt if you’ll be good enough for your baby. You are and you are going to be a fantastic mother.


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