Eat. Sleep. Poop. Play.

These are the essential things to know about kids. Well, my kids, at least. Yet parents, especially moms for some reason, can be shamed for literally any choice they make.

Store bought baby foods (making your own is so much better!). Making your own (too time consuming! Play with your baby instead!). Breastfeed (I hope you plan on doing it for a year, and I don’t want to be seeing that boob!). Formula (breast milk is best, you know. You just need to keep trying). Pumping (it’s easier to just put the baby on your breast!). No pumping (you should pump, give someone else a chance to feed the baby). Co-sleeping (you could crush the baby!). Sleep training (you do want the baby to sleep, don’t you?!). Rocking (careful, the baby is going to have to be rocked forever now!). Toys (I hope they’re appropriate for…